It’s never meat most people balk at when they tell me they could never go vegan.
It’s that deliciously addictive curdled breast milk.
Sounds gross when I put it that way, I know.
But honestly, I know how great a good cheese can be. That sweet rush of something approximating endorphins. The combination of fat and salty when paired with crackers. The gooeyness that magically enhances whatever you combine it with when melted.
Believe me, cheese was my last hurdle, too.
I was a vegetarian for about three years prior to becoming a vegan. Even though my ultimate goal in going meatless was to take that last step and eliminate dairy, eggs and other animal products, I put off approaching that crossroads as long as I could.
I loved it all, man. Pepper jack, colby, gourmet cheeses such as gouda, and even some stuff — cheese whiz, squeeze cheese — that’s probably not quantifiable as food, much less cheese.
So, perhaps needless to say I had done my research prior to leaving cheese behind. If I hadn’t known cheese is — literally — addictive, I probably never would have made that leap.
But knowing there are chemicals in the product that are a tenth as strong as morphine, well that helped somehow (go ahead, Google it). I’ve always been a fairly heathly person in many ways, having never even tried a cigarette (nope, not even a puff) and having quit caffeine because I didn’t like being addicted to it. So knowing that cheese is proven to have addictive properties only strengthened my resolve.
I went cold turkey and it worked. I haven’t had a bite of cheese in more than four years. I actually, heretical as this sounds, prefer my pizza pie sans cheese.
But unlike the other animal products I gave up — milk, ice cream, steak, etc. — cheese is the only one I still struggle with. I might not have eaten it since quitting, but, much like I’d imagine a former smoker to feel, there are particular times when I crave it.
After a meal, that first slice of the day, or post-coital. JOKING!
It also helped, in a way, that there were very few, if any, desirable cheese alternatives. Most are bland, rubbery, melt poorly and, well, suck. They really, really suck.
But lo and behold, this wonderful behemoth of a product from Daiya. It’s amazing. Hands down the best vegan cheese I’ve ever had. And now! Now, cher lecteurs, it’s available at all Giant Eagle stores, according to a tweet yesterday from the company.
I’ve scoped out the local Giant Eagle twice since reading the tweet, but it’s not in stock yet. Man, I can’t wait for that sweet, sweet bliss. Nachos! Burritos! Lasagna! Sandwiches! Cereal! OK, maybe not cereal.
The upside is there’s nothing inherently addictive about this cheese aside from the taste. The downside is I’m now way too tempted to start eating those foods I had given up on, nachos chief among them.
I’ll just have to save it for special occasions, which reminds me. Isn’t today Aug. 25? Yea, that’s what I thought. Looks like it’s time to celebrate!
What am I celebrating exactly? I don’t know, but the fact that this perfect product has found me in little ole Marietta, Ohio sounds as good a reason as any.
